This week, I’ve been deeply affected by conversations with two incredible individuals who, during the trauma of their separation, considered suicide as a way to escape the pain. Thankfully, they are now on the path to healing and rediscovering joy in life.

But last night, I received heart-breaking news. A friend shared that someone who had been struggling with the turmoil of divorce had taken her own life.

This is a stark reminder to me that toxic relationships and hostile separations are not just painful—they can be life-threatening. From my own research, I truly believe that relationship distress is one of the biggest mental health crises of our time, and certainly one of the most stressful and debilitating experiences a person can go through.

Divorce doesn’t have to be hostile—but for that, both partners need to approach it with care. Sometimes, a partner is simply unwilling to do this. If you are going through an unpleasant or high-conflict separation, here are some things I want you to know:

YOU CAN’T CONTROL YOUR EX. If they are hostile, dishonest, or manipulative, remind yourself why you’re leaving. A better, happier life awaits.

LEAN ON THOSE WHO UNDERSTAND. Find people who’ve been through it and ask them to have your back. No one understands this pain better than those who’ve walked the same road.

BUILD A STRONG SUPPORT SYSTEM. Having more than one support person helps—your pain is real and visceral, but it can be overwhelming for just one person to carry. Don’t feel rejected when this happens – just make sure you have other sources of support – that way you are looking out for your supporters as they are looking out for you.

HOLD ONTO YOUR TRUE SELF. Your ex’s version of you is not your truth. Are you a good person with love in your heart? Keep that at the core of your story. My experience is that some of the most amazing people I know have gone through the most awful divorces.

REBUILD, even if it means starting fresh. If your ex has isolated you from friends or family, give yourself time and grace to mend things. Take steps to care for yourself—travel, move, focus on fitness and diet, get a therapist, stay away from substances, spend time in nature, journal, listen to uplifting podcasts, join support groups, and surround yourself with positivity.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE. More than half of all couple relationships end, and a significant portion of these separations are highly contentious and downright nasty. There are countless people out there—strong, kind, and resilient—who have made it through – and who will be happy to help you get through. We all need each other. We are made for happy relationships – it is not a weakness to lean on others – our weakness is in trying to go it alone.

If you’re in the midst of a painful separation, please reach out for support. You are valued, you are worthy, and there is hope beyond this moment.